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"Sidd's Dream," or ...
How I Learnt to Stop Worrying, and Love The 'Bahn !
There lived a man named
Job in the Kingdom of Newt; and, he feared GOD; and, he obeyed the
Law of Newt; and, he grew fat and prospered thereof.
GOD looked upon Job and said, "This is an insufferably smug bastard and
needs shook up," and sent the Devil into his life.
The Devil came unto Job with a glass face (which some called Computer) and
upon his face was writ many lies in bright colors with bevelled edges.
For these were the days of the power and dominion of the
Antichrist, Bill the Gates (accursed be his name) who had made many such
lies in mockery and in scorn of the mighty works of the LORD.
And, Job believed the lies, and was amazed, and led into the Wilderness of
Mirrors. The Devil showed unto him the riches of the worlds dislayed before
And, the minion of the Devil, Bill the Gates (accursed
be his name) promised him much fame, and power, and glory ... if he would
but use his tools and sing his praises.
was snared in Webs of Deceit; and, he was mired in Nets of Lies; and,
he was trapped in the Wilderness.
And, he would neither
leave the computer for food, nor for drink, nor for drugs, verily neither
would he leave for Rock 'n' Roll. Rather, he sat bedazzled by alt.folklore
.urban, and talk.bizarre, and rec.pyrotechnics.
And, his wife grew fat and slatternly; and, his children grew Nazi
and rude; but, he would not be moved.
For he was now descended into the pits of talk.politics,
and soc.culture.*, and alt.bestiality.hamsters.duct.tape.
And, they had his mind in thralled.
GOD looked upon
Job and knew he had fixed the son-of-a-bitch, but good.
For more far-out writing, check-out
The Internet Gazette